What a British oath of allegiance would really sound like – Telegraph.co.uk
âI give my solemn word that I will respect the institutions of this country, especially the monarchy. To this end, I pledge that I will not wantonly or heedlessly throw away any special souvenir supplements of photographs of royal babies before such supplements have been in my possession for at least two days. I shall strive without cease to fight this countryâs enemies, namely Japanese knotweed. I will also strongly disapprove of American crayfish which invade our inland waters.
âWhen I drop litter, I will do so conscientiously, screwing it up and tucking it into hedges or between railings. And I will leave larger items outside charity shops late at night. I will learn British skills, like the art of half-offering my seat to someone else on a bus and never believing weather forecasts and I will not panic when the Met Office issues weather warnings, but I will take note of all signs telling me to take care on slippery floors.
âRight, thatâs it. Cheers. Shake on it.â
Gr8 view of a peasant gathering winter fuel
One year King Wenceslas was thrilledto be given a smartphone for Christmas and he decided to send his first text message to his page:
âHi there, page. Happy Fst of Stephn.â
âSame 2U, sire. How RU?â
âIâm good. U may call me GKW. Just looking out from castle tower. Gr8 view from here. Sending U pix of snow. V deep, crisp and evn.â
âHi. Like pix a lot Really good of brightly shining moon IMHO.â
âCan u come hithr and stnd by me? I see a peasant over there gathering winter fuel. Just wondering. Who he? Where from?â
âThatâs a FAQ. Not from round here. A gd league hence, Iâd say. Undernth the mountain and right agnst the forest fnce. Address is firstname.lastname@example.org. Am forwarding it to U.â